Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
