the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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