Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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