Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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