just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
