this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
