In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
