Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize