There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Blow job season was short but glorious.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
