Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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