i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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