I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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