i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize