So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
