she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
