You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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