I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
