Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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