Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
