I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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