Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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