Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
