just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
