I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
