Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
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I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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