Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
