Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
