I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize