If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
A+ Viking dick
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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