areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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