therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
