We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize