Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
farters have to be the big spoon...
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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