I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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