Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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