My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
