I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
