Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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