her vagina looked like bernie madoff
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
