gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
