Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
