My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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