This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
