I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
