Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
