I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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