I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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