question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize