Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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