i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I wish I only lived at night.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
