yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
