so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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