so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize