Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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