I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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