I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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