I must be too annoying 4 u.
Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
