you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
