You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Dicks are not precious.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
