My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
