im having a threesome with these popsicles
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
sex in a hospital.. check
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
