Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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