Jerry, you need to find god
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Still dying that you shit outside
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
