Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
