is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
